Tough Love: Type Like You Learned Something in School

1 November, 2011

Top of the month to you classy, novel-reading, beautiful ladies. Today’s blog curtails to your inner wishes and hopes. This is dedicated to all you women who have experienced evaporated emotions after texting or reading tweets of a guy who displays pure ignorance and educational struggle all throughout his digital aura.

Look fellas, the elite women in the world want a dude who they can feel confident about not misspelling their own child’s name. I mean, shit, half of you idiots I’m talking about type like you’re presently undergoing a seizure. Tell me, what the hell is the purpose of CaPiTaLiZiNg EvErY oThEr LetTeR?

If you’re still using “dis” instead of “this”, I can tell the only girls you care to mess with smoke Black & Milds regularly and only own scratched CD’s that skip every other song. You have no business associating with the few rare, available queens left in the world.

You dummies really have no idea how much high quality box you could have the chance of being inside of just by typing like you actually paid attention in English class.

See, in this day and age, a lot of women judge a man based on how he carries himself both in person AND in his online persona. Let me be the first to tell you that articulate assholes are winning right now and will be for a very long time. I promise you it’s more prospering than whatever it is you’re doing.

Now, to direct my attention to you basic broads…

Why are your G’s q’s? When I see this, I can only assume the father of your children gives not one single, measly fuck about you and that child support payments are at the top of the list of your spacious fantasies. If I have to look up one more unnecessarily fabricated acronym that you hoes think of that could easily be interchanged with LOL, I’m going to lose my cool.

And stop saying you’re laughing your ass off just because someone is interacting with you. Go learn about politics or something.

Example:

Friend 1: Hey what’s up?
Basic Broad: Hey gurl, just takin care of dese kids you know lmao. Wbu?

Women who unnecessarily use “lmao” have vaginas that look like this:

Dry with occasional tumbleweed strolling by.

I’m out, though. I appreciate you for reading this and rocking with us at Live The Counter Culture Cultivated Influence. I’ve been doing this blog thing for five months now and I’m extremely proud of our growth thus far (pause). Please keep spreading the word about us and lead us to greatness. I promise the quality and original, dope content will be here for as long as you are.

-SG

P.S. Ladies, if you participate in No Shave November, you are a WEIRDO. Keep your cactus box all the way away from me.

Follow me on Twitter @SpencerGlover

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