Tough Love: That’s Not Your Boyfriend

Aw, man.

This is for all the chicks in philandering relationships who never leave because…well, I don’t know why. But, this is for you Total-Eclipse-of-the-Heart ass gals.

It’s time to stop being a Build-A-Bop and get a fucking identity.

Your relationship is a bigger joke than anything you came up with on April Fool’s Day. Your relationship reminds me of NBA highlights…(i.e. A repetition of taking it to the hole, crossing you over…dump) … You don’t have a boyfriend, chick. You share that dude.

Tell me, what love stories are you reading that make it seem okay to share the love of your life? How many times has he cheated on you and you took him back? You’re not his girlfriend; you’re a security blanket with a vagina. You’re not on a pedestal if your man’s been playing musical chairs since you got together, sweetheart.

I used to rag on the “side chick” and how ridiculously dumb she is for playing that position, but as depressing and as big of a piece of shit as she is, it’s you “main chicks” who are the bigger buffoons.

How do you accept the mentality that YOU and YOU alone stay in a relationship that clearly you alone are unable to satisfy your significant other? If you have the capacity in your brain to accept something as asinine as this, clearly the aforementioned “capacity” is just open space in your skull. If you didn’t comprehend (synonyms: understand/grasp/register) that previous statement, what I’m saying to you is simply: If you truly believe that your “boyfriend” has to have sex with other women in order to be happy with you, you’re a MOTHERFUCKING MORONIC BASIC BOX BROAD.

Excuse me.

Don’t forget, I said you side-bitches are idiots, too. What the hell is wrong with you guys? Go find somebody decent who respects you and quit being stagnant. In what world is sticking around for table scraps that a DOG feeds you a good look? In what world? You’re on a depth chart and you don’t even start in your own love life. Pathetic bop.

Anyway.

Just because you toughed it out longer than some others doesn’t mean you’re the default girlfriend. Love isn’t based on seniority, dummy.

How do you allow yourself to accept that you’re openly being played? Have you no pride? If you’re going to accept that you got cheated on/are still getting cheated on, and for whatever reason, still desire to be with that person you fucking idiot, I fully expect a simple assault charge on your rap sheet. Anything else seems uncivilized.

Bottom line, if the only time time he acts like you go out together is when you actually go out together, you don’t go out together.

I’m out, though. Grow up.

-SG

P.S. Side chicks hoping to be claimed someday are no different than lost and found items or orphans.

P.P.S. You’re the jumpoff if you don’t have his WiFi password.

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