3AM in Love


I struggled over whether love is either a quantitative or qualitative entity. Saying “I love you so much” implies that love can be appraised, yet how many people do we love that we would die for compared to how many we wouldn’t? That signifies quality, which would suggest love is associated with both quality and quantity. It’s bananas odd thinking of love in the same terms of having 11 wonderful, ripe fruit today, but in a week they could be rotten. That’s logic, I suppose.

As awful as that metaphor may have been, putting my connotations of love into worldly perspective proved to be a bit easier. So, here that goes:

Love is a game of chance. There may be more experienced players that would claim they have an edge on love due to their history of gambling, but I don’t believe that. Love is poker. Studying the game will make you more aware of the outcomes, but in the end, it’s all in the cards. Love is risk. Love has many definitions and connotations; it’s laden with mystery and ambiguity. However mysterious and definitely ambiguous love may be, it is definite.

Love is ambitious and full of zeal. Love is an addiction full of highs and lows. Love drives us. We live for the passion, we live to impress, we live to love. Why? Love is a sanctuary. Love is beautiful, eloquent and wordlessly articulate. Love masks our insecurities, shelters us from vulnerability and occasionally, reality. Love is a blanket on our coldest nights.

Love is tough. Love is stubborn and incisive. Love is too heavy to be carried by one. Love is powerful, so powerful that we feel entitled to have it the way we dream. Love is coy. Love is hunted. Once found, love is to be cherished and appreciated, but we must understand that it is unfair to force love into captivity. Love is at its best when it is free to grow. Love is a college student, minus the binge drinking and promiscuity.

Love is something we makes sacrifices for, go to war for, work and strive to achieve and retain. We, the people, were created with love and as we exit the world, we hope to be surrounded and incapacitated by the same love we were able to exude. What is important in life? Life consumes us with tedious undertakings and the superficial. It is important to take time to strip down life to its basics and ask ourselves what really matters. It is direly important to love.

As I re-ask myself ‘is love qualitative or quantitative?’ I realize as much as it is both, it’s neither. Although love is shared, it is irrational to think love is 50/50 because we don’t always put forth the same effort and reap the same rewards. Love fluctuates from one to another like the stock market, not with numbers, but with glances, gestures and greetings. To be in love is to be a ship at sea while love is the body of water, full of treasures and fortunes as well as mishaps and misfortunes. Even in the smoothest of water, the ship never be perfectly level, even as balanced as we may feel.

Love is virtuous and shameless: our greatest legacy. It is something to be spoken about and carried for ages like an invisible heirloom. If you have it, hold it proudly. If you seek it, be attentive, but do not strain. Love heals pain, but pain from the absence of love creates instability and thwarts an opportunity for what you desire to be forthcoming.

Confidence holds the key.

For life, liberty and the pursuit of love.

-Spencer Glover

Author: SG

Founder of Cultivated Influence.

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