Trey Songz’s sixth studio album Trigga, is described by himself as: “[It’s] my every emotion at this point in my life, it’s the good, the bad, the ugly, it’s the beautiful, it’s last night, It’s love, it’s hard-hitting beats, but beautiful keys. It’s beautiful melodies, it’s so personal to me as well, of course I have songs that are impersonal, that are fun records, that just want to get people to move and dance, but as you get to the depths and the layers of the album, it gives you an insight to my life at the person that I am – and what’s going on in my life as I try to figure out growing into manhood, and taking on the responsibility that I do and trying to find love…”

Now I’m going to be real honest with you right now and preface this review by saying half of this album is trash and should be playing on the homepage of Ashley Madison. Let’s get into it:

1. Cake – Alright… first track, “Cake”. Ehhhhh – that’s my intelligent review of this track. The A$AP Rocky-esque, pitched down “ugh’s” heard throughout this seem out of place in this. The song would lean more towards “iiiiight” if it wasn’t for the

“Light-skinned girls got that red velvet
Dark-skinned girls chocolate
White girls got vanilla frosting”

line heard in the second verse; that shit was really, pretty, rather most definitely corny. Usually I’m a big fan of double-entendres, but the “you can have your cake and eat it, too” eye-raiser here falls short of interesting to me.

2. Foreign – Zzzzzzz. “American – you know I had to cop that foreign” is the main theme for the chorus of this one, which he eludes to his preference of foreign women over the great, lovely, iMessage-having, SmartWater drinking American women of this sovereign land. Trigga please.

3. Na Na – This is one of the album’s singles and let me tell you… it. is. trash. Is this dude singing to my grandma right now!? He better fucking not be trying to serenade my precious grandmother right now. This shit sounds like a bingo night twerk anthem. I haven’t seen the video, but I imagine it’s full of women with liver spots, gyrating their hips provocatively. Call your Nana’s, tell them you love them, hug them tight and keep them away from the iTunes Store. This shit gave me the dry heaves.

http://instagram.com/p/qa01V2ofcU/

4. Touchin, Lovin (feat. Nicki Minaj) – This one has pretty good energy and I don’t hate it, but every time Nicki Minaj starts in with her sex raps, I check to make sure I applied my antiperspirant. When Nicki Minaj verses come on, I close my eyes and envision us dancing in a club setting, only to fly backwards from her ass assault and knock over everyone’s drinks from her aggression in her vocals. Other than that vulnerability I just opened up to you, dear reader, I give this song a C+.

5. Disrespectful (feat. Mila J) – Here’s the first of many Cheaters-R-Us anthems found in this landfill of .mp3 audio files. My ears are disrespected. I don’t know who the hell Mila J is and I doubt Wikipedia does either.

6. Dead Wrong (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) – once again those A$AP Rocky “ughs” are sprinkled around this track for whatever reason. Here’s another song for the ladiezzzz – as the chorus goes “fuck ’em all the time, but you know I never wife ’emmmm” that should warm the heart of every girl posting a selfie with the Sierra filter on Instagram right now, waiting for her man to finish his movie date with his girlfriend. If you thought this track was not trash, you are dead wrong.

7. All We Do – Now THIS is probably my favorite song on the album. Trey floats over the dark piano and brooding chords in his verses, and though the chorus lacks originality, I can rock with it. I give this an A-. This is “windows down with the A/C on when it’s about 8:45PM on a Thursday, reading tweets at the red light” music.

8. Foreign Remix (feat. Justin Bieber) – Wow. Just when I thought I was through with this piece of shit track, Blockhead Bieber hops on and stinks it up on the same disc. The dopest part of the song is the French girl in the beginning saying something like “the four corners of the world” but I didn’t look the lyrics up to confirm that because Google knows my taste level of searches is higher than that and I’m not about to step out of character just for this review. This song goes downhill at the 0:12 mark.

9. Late Night (feat. Juicy J) – I’m not mad at this one, really. Mostly because Trey Songz thinks he’s me on this song. This is a solid summer jam, produced by Mike WILL Made It. However, the “might as well work at Lids the way she give me cap” line from Juicy J knocks this song down a whole letter grade, landing this track at a B-.

10. SmartPhones – LOL. First off, this song starts off with Trey accidentally calling his girl while he’s with another woman. This doesn’t make sense to me because IN WHAT WORLD ARE WE POCKET DIALING? There’s a total of two buttons on my phone, breh. Maybe I’m just an iPhone samurai with wild dope techniques of locking my phone in my pocket, but I don’t think I’ve ever pocket dialed anything in the years I’ve had a smartphone. Anyway, all the fiction in the intro aside, this is a cool track for your girl to be sad to when she catches your dumb ass cheating on her. B for the high notes. D- for the intro. A+ for me making it this far into the album.

11. Yes, No, Maybe – Beat is cool, but “nah” overall. Next.

12. Y.A.S. (You Ain’t Shit) – Welp, the A$AP Rocky “ughs” are thrown around with no regard for human life on this track. It’s not bad.

13. Change Your Mind – dope. Should have been more of this on the album.

14. What’s Best for You (Bonus) – Back-to-back songs not talking about wanting to be with someone else’s girl? New record for this project.

15. Love Around the World (Bonus) – Second favorite song on the album. I don’t know why bonus tracks have been better than the shit that makes the actual album lately, but that’s a thing.

16. I Know (I Can’t Get Back) (Bonus) – Heavy 808’s on this one and this album is starting to not smell like trash after the last three songs have been decent. This is my third favorite cut.

17. Mr. Steal Your Girl (Bonus) – Guard your chick … because Trey is coming to kidnap your bae. The Keith Sweat melody is cool, the uncouth content unsurprisingly errs to the side of being maddddd coveting on thy neighbor’s wife and what not, but I suppose this is something for the ladies to listen to when we forget to take out the trash (the first half of this album). This closer really sums up the style Trey was going for on this project.

Alright, that’s my review.

This should have been a mixtape or a six song EP. Male R&B artists should cater their music to women, but this comes off incredibly misogynistic. The male chauvinist approach in R&B as of late has deteriorated the genre, as artist’s content now matches that of rap and hip-hop in terms of aggression and the objectification of women.

The type of women who I feel would really enjoy this whole album are girls with cats and nut ass chicks who are consenting sidepieces.

I’m out.

-SG

Trey Songz can still probably get at any chick I’ve sent a DM to in the last 4 years, though.