CULTIVATED INFLUENCE

This should be fun. What I plan on doing on a weekly basis(don’t hold me to that) is writing a this week in sports type blog for this site. As good as the site is, what the hell kind of site that prides itself of men being superior and #MuscleMusicMonday doesn’t have something that we all truly love: sports.

The only thing you need to know is no, this isn’t ESPN and I won’t be talking about how Tom Brady & Gisele are on vacation or what a certain backup QB who just happens to have strong religious beliefs is up to. Nope, not I.

So let’s recap the last few weeks.

Baseball

I’ll keep this short and sweet, because I really don’t know how you guys feel about baseball. The season feels like it takes about as long as it takes Rich Eisen to run a 40. But with the season coming to an end on Sunday, the baseball playoffs are one of better sporting events to watch. Unless of course, you’re a Cubs fan. Go Braves!

Basketball

Basketball is about to start up, but the news that just came out recently, man. Apparently, now that David Stern is leaving, new commisioner Adam Silver thinks it’s a good idea to put nicknames on the back of jerseys? The two teams they’re starting with are the Heat & the Nets, potentially.

Imagine Marv Albert when the two teams play, “KG passes it to the D-Will on the top of the key, D-Will swings it over to The Truth, missed and rebounded by Flash, Flash heaves it up court to King James, King James with a no look pass to Jesus Shuttlesworth, and an alley-oop to Birdman, are, you serious!”

Yeah, that might be a little excessive. It’s great for marketing, though. Imagine how many King James jerseys or Black Mamba jerseys would sell? Brilliant.

Football

Ah, America’s current past time. This is the sport that makes our country truly go round. Don’t believe me? Monday nights dude featuring the lowly Raiders vs. the Broncos netted a 10.3 rating. The Heat/Spurs game 6 was just over 14, which was the 2nd highest rating for ABC, ever.

People want to watch football, no matter who it is. That’s just a fact.

Won’t touch too much on college football for now, because there’s just so many teams and it’s hard for everyone to keep up. I will say, a couple weeks ago proved once and for all that this IS a Hawkeye state. Sucks to suck, Cyclones.

The last thing I’ll do is give you my power rankings for the NFL. Before you blow up my mentions with “they’re 3-0 or they just beat blah blah.” That’s not why I’m doing this. These are the teams that have been the most impressive, & complete. If you want me to rank teams in order go to nfl.com/standings. I watch a disgusting amount of football, and have a good idea about most of the teams through 3 weeks.

I’ll be succinct here, and tell you why the teams are where. So without further ado:

1. Chiefs-3-0-Coaching matters. They put the players in a position to succeed, and it’s showing. The most impressive defense through 2 weeks. Say what you want about Alex Smith, but he has control of the offense. This is a good team.

2. Saints-3-0-Again, coaching coaching coaching. I said preseason that they’ll make the NFC championship and got killed. Where are those folks now? They got their HC back, and Rob Ryan has done wonders for the D.

3: Dallas-2-1-So much for Monte Kiffin not knowing how to run a defense. They’re rolling right now, wait until this offense actually starts to get it together. Scary.

4. Denver-3-0-How do you over come the losses of Von Miller/Champ Bailey/Ryan Clady? Easy. Have the best QB to ever do it. The surgeon looks unstoppable at this point.

5. Seattle-3-0-Russell Wilson is starting to heat up. Don’t let this team get home-field advantage, that’s basically a ticket to the Super Bowl. The defense is ridiculous, Sherman is BETTER than last year, and, they don’t even have Percy.

6. Bengals-2-1- This team is literally a competent QB away from controlling the AFC, so many weapons on offense. Dalton’s holding them back

7. Lions-2-1-Stafford/Johnson is unstoppable, you know it’s coming, it doesn’t matter. N. Suh is one of the best defensive players in the NFL, even if he is a dirtball.

8. Texans-2-1-See Bengals. J.J. Watt is the best player in football in his 3rd league in the year. Ridiculous.

9. Packers-1-2-Aaron Rodgers has the offense hitting on all cylinders. The defense isn’t there yet, but the offense is just so damn good.

10. Carolina-1-2-Let me guess, I’m an idiot, right? Fair enough. They are literally 2 plays away from being 3-0. They have the best DL in football. If Cam can just let it go and play, this team can be really good.

11. Bears-3-0-New HC Marc Trestman has “fixed” Cutler. He looks like a new QB. The defense is still creating turnovers, but isn’t as sharp in years past.

12. Patriots-3-0-Worst 3-0 team ever? Brady has been bad, there’s no way around it. I get he has new targets, but HE’s the one struggling.

13. Colts-2-1-Andrew Luck is one of my favorite players to watch. He’s in total control of the offense, and it’s showing. This is a playoff team.

14. Miami-3-0-Ryan Tannehill is the real deal. He’s been spectacular. But Miami can’t run the ball or stop the run. That’ll come back to haunt them.

15. Titans-2-1-Jake Locker showed he belongs after last weeks performance.

16. Ravens-My super bowl pick off to a 2-1 start, but it hasn’t been pretty. The offense has been putrid and if they don’t fix it soon, they’ll pay for it.

17. Browns-1-2-Many(including me) thought they punted the season when they traded RB Trent Richardson and started their 3rd string QB. All they did was go out and score 31. Oh, and that defense is really, really good.

18. Eagles-1-2-The Chip Kelly is the greatest coach ever talk has died down, but the offense isn’t the problem. The defense is one of the worst in the league.

19. Jets-2-1-All the circus talk should stop. Rex Ryan is a hell of a coach. They should be undefeated. Geno isn’t there yet, but he belongs. This is a top 10 D, easy.

20. Chargers-1-2-Much like the Eagles, this offense has been very good. The defense has been equally as bad. The Chargers might boast the worst secondary in the NFL.

21. Steelers-0-3- Big Ben isn’t the same guy. He’s missing throws left & right. But, a Tomlin coached team is hard to dismiss, and Polamalu is back to his old ways.

22. Vikings-0-3-Yes, Ponder hasn’t been good. But the defense has been worse. Peterson’s saying all the right things, but you know he hates his life.

23. Bucs-0-3-Good teams find ways to win. Bad teams find ways to lose. The Bucs are the latter.The coaching staff needs to make changes because there’s too much talent on this roster.

24. Falcons-1-2-The offensive line has been terrible, the defense has been almost as bad. Hard to win games when you can’t cover anyone or rush the passer.

25. Oakland-1-2-It’s great to see Pryor look like a real NFL QB after the NCAA did him dirty.

26. 49ers-1-2-They’ve gone from smash-mouth football to a team that’s pass heavy. Problem is, they don’t have anyone to throw to, and it’s shown.

27. Rams-1-2-So much talent on this team. They can’t run the ball, though. So when you’re predictable in the NFL, you become easy to stop.

28. Cardinals-1-2Much like the Rams, the Cardinals have a 2/1 pass/run ratio on the year. It’s all about balance. That and they also have been bad at rushing the passer.

29. Bills-1-2- They’ve been competitive in every game, but a profit once said “Moral victories are for minor league coaches.”

30. Giants-0-3-When you can’t protect you quarterback and can’t get after the quarterback, it’s easy to see how you’re one of the worst teams in football.

31. Redskins-0-3-RGIII might have came back a bit too soon, but this has statistically been one of the worst defenses through 3 games in NFL history.

32. Jaguars-0-3-Trying their hardest to get Teddy Bridgewater. I’m not sure who they’ll beat this year.