CULTIVATED INFLUENCE

This won’t take long.

This one here is for all you strange sternum showers. You GUYS who flaunt more “cleavage” than any garment Liz Claiborne ever stocked in a JCPenney. I don’t get it and I don’t want to get it (pause).

This is a death wish to the male deep v-neck.

Your t-shirt should not look like a button-less cardigan, dude. Your shirt shouldn’t look like a failed Wrestlemania rip and the front of your shirt shouldn’t dip so low that you need a bra to support your pride.

Get the fuck out of here with that emasculating menswear.

Have a look at this.

Notice how men aren’t anywhere near the Google autocomplete options? Get a clue, dickheads.

THIS SHOULD NEVER BE A THING.

I don’t know the statistics, but just by the fashion choices and actions of some people my age, I can tell there weren’t enough dads around to slap their sons for sitting down to pee.

I’m out, though. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with crew necks. Your Adam’s apple needs some company sometimes.

Be safe.

-SG

P.S. The deeper the V, the bigger the arrow is pointing down at your vagina.

Follow @SpencerGlover on Twitter.

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