Yeah, it’s about to get very real in a second.

Hey ladies. This is written directly at all of you. Someone needs to let this be known.

I couldn’t begin to count how many times I’ve seen a girl do a social network “walk of shame.” We’ve all seen them; when a chick suddenly starts to jump on a “we deserve better” high horse followed by retweets of @TheNotebook and other et ceteras filled with annoying shit.

Oh, he hit it and quit it…and you’re mad now? This may sting, but you really can’t blame anyone but yourself, sweetheart. If you’re attracted to men who are known for these types of emotional banter, you should be more prepared and known beforehand what his M.O. was. You made your bed and (literally) slept in it. What are you upset for? Get over yourself.

Woman crying-1527276

You shouldn’t feel the same as the Raiders when they drafted Jamarcus Russell. Just learn to scout and recruit your men better so you don’t end up as another man’s bust down.

So, you fell for the things you wanted to hear. That does happen, after all. I fall for rumors about Detox being released every six months, but one thing I don’t do is complain and besiege my friends’ timelines and news feeds with my sorrows. There’s no place for that over here.

I will admit, social networks do make the scorning process wayyyyyy funnier worse because (most likely) the other person’s online presence is a constant reminder of how they swagged out in your box what they did to you, but you must refrain from letting your agitation abuse the rest of us.

More importantly…

You ladies have to quit with this “ugh boys suck” shit. Go like girls if you can’t handle it. Your posts about “Girls Night!” would turn into much more entertained thoughts.

Really though, you ladies have quit this “ugh boys suck” shit. There’s nothing more unattractive than a girl who’s seemed to have lost hope. I mean, sure, when you write those aforementioned remarks, there are some gentlemen who will reassure you that “there are still a few of us out there who are good.” You realize that these fake knights in shining glitter are quite possibly the lamest dudes ever, right? The same dudes who try to console you via Facebook comment are the same twerps that will like your “< / 3 recently single” relationship status.

The reason this blog only applies to women is because men don't complain about these things. Women want to be with assholes that only they can change to nice guys and men want good girls that are only sluts for them. The difference is that men are more attracted to sluts than women are attracted to nice guys off the bat.

The best thing you can do is act like it never happened. Yes, that's ideally what the guy who fucked you over wants, but seeking vengeance usually makes you look a hundred times more basic petty.

Letting the world know that some douche bag – who you thought was going to magically treat you differently than everyone else he’s been with – screwed you over is just going to invite the same type of activity into your life again. You already took the L, there’s no need to cause anymore detriment by making a fool of yourself.


Like this woman.

My point is that it’s hard for me to be empathetic for you ladies when you end up getting exactly what you signed up for. Women gather GREAT intel about men, using the most limited of resources and still end up making terrible decisions; it’s absolutely baffling. I don’t see how chicks can figure out a guy’s past seven flings and not take notice to the similar endings and be upset when it ended the same way with them.

Half of me really thinks you’re idiots for letting yourselves get played and the other half thinks you play the victim role only so you don’t look like a whore because you wanted the same physical pursuits without the judgment.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a guy who wants you to be better and I try educating by humorously depicting the harsh realities many of you face or have seen someone face everyday. I’d like it to be a bit more difficult to find amusing entertainment at the expense of others when I log online, but that’s not the case.

Oh well.

Please understand that all of you women are special to someone, but you’re not special to everyone. Hopefully that provides a grain of faith and emotional security.

I’m out though. I’ve been eating carrots all day to improve my eye sight so I can dodge reading subtweets on my timeline with exuberant amounts of finesse.

Be safe, stay great, and block creeps who still poke on Facebook.


P.S. Never trust somebody who walks in grass with their socks on. Something isn’t right with them.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

From January 17, 2012


1 Comment

  1. This was a decent article. You have a lot of insight.

    You said:
    “Women want to be with assholes that only they can change to nice guys and men want good girls that are only sluts for them. The difference is that men are more attracted to sluts than women are attracted to nice guys off the bat.”

    That’s close.

    We are attracted to sluts. But we’re attracted to prudes, too… if she’s good-looking. We don’t know she’s a prude just by looking at her. But we know she looks good. That’s all we care about at first. Women start off as objects to us. Our attraction is based on that. We’ll be even more attracted if she shows interest. In order for a woman to be attracted to a man, there has to be a lot of magical shit happening. Confidence, sense of humor, intelligence, charm, wittiness. We don’t need any of that to want a woman. She doesn’t have to be charming, she doesn’t have to be able to read, she could have zero personality, no wit, dumb as a post. If she’s attractive, we want her. She’s a thing. A delicious thing. Women get attracted to other things. They’re downfall is that they’re not as shallow as us.

    “A retarded millionaire guy can get pussy. A retarded billionaire woman is in deep shit.”

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