Tough Love: SnapBack to Reality

ToughLoveSnapBackToRealityArt

6 April, 2012

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Lenten, blog-free challenge is over. The blogs are back, the weather is nice and fucks will not be given about whether or not you become offended or irate by this. Hope you do.

Let’s put all that introduction stuff aside and get to a more pressing issue that needs some delving into.

You know what’s annoying as fuck? Kids who follow EVERY trend; “hipsters,” if you will. The “I fit in with the people that stand out” group. Nah, you look the same as all of the other dorks who share the same mentality and web history as you, bro.

What’s up you ol’ conforming ass, can’t think for yourself ass, trend following fuck ass boys?

SNAPBACKS, TATTOOS and EXPENSIVE SHOES. That’s the life, according to your iTunes library, right?

Dogs, if your favorite rapper said to do meth and curse out your mom for serving you vegetables, would you do it? You Taylor Gang kids think you can do whatever the fuck you want, don’t you? You can’t. Not over here anyway.

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Nut ass dudes are doing too much these days. You supreme Ken doll ass dudes have more accessories than a woman! It’s filthy.

What’s being different if everyone all looks the same? Tattoos? How original. Guys are out here with chest pieces and sleeves looking like fucking treasure maps.

YOHOLO and a bottle of rum. That tattoo sleeve looks motherfucking dumb!

*NOTICE* Unless you’re on a team and on the field, it’s suspect if you wear the same color scheme as your boys. Motherfuckers out here in all one color outfits looking like life-sized Sour Patch Kids.

And a HUGE fuck you to anybody who ever wore a flat bill with a suit jacket. Looking like a damn From G’s To Gents cast member.

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Another annoyance: Everyone’s a sneaker junkie or sneaker head, but they wear the SAME kicks. So buying a pair of shoes that cost $200 that you heard about from your favorite artist in a song makes you an automatic shoe connoisseur? Ohhhh, okay. Got it. So, you waited in line with 100 other people for those “exclusive” shoes that 100 other people in line with you also bought, exclusively?

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Matching hat with the matching shoes with the matching shirt with the matching jean stitching. The fuck you think you are? Dudes are out here dressing like Nike designed them some Pro Casual outfits.

“Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Looking like a FOOL with your matching pants on the ground.”

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Nah, but you clowns dress like urban youth pimps. Shit, even legendary Bishop Don Magic Juan knows when enough is enough. Got on outfits looking like they came in a kit.

I swear you fuck boys really think Michael Jordan is a fashion designer. I’m sure somewhere there’s a duck ass dude scouring the blogs, begging the gods for a magical Maison Martin Margiela x Michael Jordan collab to appear.

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The issue that we’re trying to press here is to be YOUR OWN cool. That’s always been our modus operandi. Being in the shadow of someone else’s cool makes you look like a pooputt.

But shit, it’s time to side-step and let the man they call A Hundred Grand levitate for the rest of this post.

Stay great.

-SG and A-Willis

And like that… We’re gone.

P.S. You bowling ball bellied bros with pipe cleaner arms need to quit wearing Affliction.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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